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mishsquish:

“And that’s when Lucille realized that she just might like being alone after all.”

The only lies for which we are truly punished are those we tell ourselves.
V. S. Naipaul (via pavorst)
“Must love decorating for holidays, mischief, kissing in cars, and wind chimes. no specific height, weight, hair color, or political affiliation required but would prefer a warm spirited non racist. cynics, critics, pessimists, and “stick in the muds” need not apply. voluptuous figures a plus. any similarity in look, mind set, or fashion sense to mary poppins, claire huxtable, snow white, or elvira wholeheartedly welcomed. i am dubious of actresses, fellons and lesbians but dont want to rule them out entirely. must be tolerant of whistling, tickle torture, james taylor, and sleeping late. i have a slight limp, eerily soft hands, and a preternatural love of autumn. i once misinterpreted being called a coal-eyed dandy as a compliment when it was intended as an insult. i wiggle my feet in my sleep, am scared of the dark, and think the Muppets Christmas Carol is one of the greatest films of all time. all i want is butterfly kisses in the morning, peanut butter sandwiches shaped like a heart, and to make you smile until it hurts.”
-Matthew Gray Gubler, on his perfect woman.
“Must love decorating for holidays, mischief, kissing in cars, and wind chimes. no specific height, weight, hair color, or political affiliation required but would prefer a warm spirited non racist. cynics, critics, pessimists, and “stick in the muds” need not apply. voluptuous figures a plus. any similarity in look, mind set, or fashion sense to mary poppins, claire huxtable, snow white, or elvira wholeheartedly welcomed. i am dubious of actresses, fellons and lesbians but dont want to rule them out entirely. must be tolerant of whistling, tickle torture, james taylor, and sleeping late. i have a slight limp, eerily soft hands, and a preternatural love of autumn. i once misinterpreted being called a coal-eyed dandy as a compliment when it was intended as an insult. i wiggle my feet in my sleep, am scared of the dark, and think the Muppets Christmas Carol is one of the greatest films of all time. all i want is butterfly kisses in the morning, peanut butter sandwiches shaped like a heart, and to make you smile until it hurts.”

-Matthew Gray Gubler, on his perfect woman.

My perfect date night: I pick you up. In my Kia Sorrento. You get in. There’s candles in the car. You go, ‘…Is that dangerous?’ and I go, ‘Yes—but I like danger.’

We go to your favorite restaurant, and we have a fantastic meal. We come outside and we see my car’s on fire. You go, ‘Aziz, your car’s on fire. Aren’t you upset?’ I pull out a bag of marshmallows and I go, ‘No. I knew this was gonna happen.’

And then I kiss you. In front of my burning car.

Aziz Ansari on his perfect date (x)